They're Holding Jesus Ransom!

Is it wrong to hold Jesus ransom to make a point about weiner poopie?

A Michigan woman, accused of leaving dog droppings around her neighborhood, found her Jesus statue missing with this note:

"We are holding Jesus ransom until you clean up the poopie from your wieners and trust us we see you take your wieners for long walks w/out picking up their poopie in our yards. This has upset us dearly so please clean up all the weiner poopie, if you want to see Jesus unharmed. Sincerely, Lindy Lane Residents."

First of all, I'm curious to know if this note was written in crayon. That would make way more sense. I would guess that if an adult wrote this, they probably have as many brain cells as they do teeth. Secondly, "weiner poopie" makes me laugh.

Have a Merry Christmas Somewhere Else

Thanks Anthony for sharing this passive aggressive note (found in somewhere in San Francisco): "If you're found sleeping on this porch, we will not disturb you or ask you to leave...we'll just call the police and have them haul your homeless ass away...so find somewhere else to sleep and piss...oh yeah, Merry Christmas."

What a bunch of pests! Can't they huddle for warmth somewhere out of sight? How dare they remind us of the less fortunate, especially at this time of year.

Homeless people are so selfish. Also, they stink.

Fuck them.