Down with the Sickness

Dear God, kill me now.

I hate being sick. Even more so, I hate having to call into work sick. It makes me feel like a big pussy. Still, I have a rule: don't go anywhere with a fever.

But the biggest problem of all? Being sick is like totally boring. I don't have the energy to do anything productive, yet lying around for hours on end gets really old. There's nothing good on TV, I've already text messaged everyone I know and there are only so many times you can masturbate in a day.

This is where having a web site never fails me. I can lie in bed and amuse myself thusly. However I warn against taking pictures of yourself when you're sick. Even if you're as cute as me, you're still going to look like complete shit and the proof is above!

I need soup, crackers and 7up -- a classic homespun remedy that magically makes everything all better. I'm pretty sure it can cure cancer.